Finding Joy in Times of Sorrow: A Wife's Perspective
November 06, 2009 | By: Carole DiPinto, Wife
My husband Lou was always the picture of health. As a retired Lieutenant of the Chicago Fire Department, he was a servant to all he met. After he retired, he continued his service as a volunteer for many organizations, including Hospice of the Comforter.
When I began noticing Lou behaving differently, I called the doctor. An MRI showed that Lou had a brain tumor (Stage 4 Glioblastoma).
Over the next 21 months, Lou went from being healthy to walking with a cane, to using a walker, to a wheelchair, and was finally bed-bound. In early 2008, he chose Hospice of the Comforter to provide hospice care and after receiving care at home, was eventually admitted to Hospice House.
He passed away quietly on September 7, 2008.
Since then, I’ve attended Hospice of the Comforter’s free grief counseling to help me navigate through my grief and help me move forward with my life. I was recently in the Smokey Mountains surrounded by peaceful quiet. I cried out, “Lou – do you even remember me? Do you know how much I love you?” And out of that silence, a bird chirped. Just once. That’s joy. A butterfly you see every day fly by your house. That’s joy. The cool breeze that touches your cheek. That’s joy.
So, it may seem strange to now talk about joy after my journey with loss. But I feel joy for the 50 years and 4 months we were married. I feel joy for the 4 wonderful children, 10 grandchildren and 1 great-grandchild we have. I didn’t thank God for the gift of Lou when I met him, but I thank God every day now that I had him.
He lives in our hearts and our hearts are now filled with joy. I hope that everyone experiencing loss will come to experience the joy that we now feel. The ones we love will never leave us. Weeping may stay for the night, but joy will come in the morning.