Growth after Grief
July 27, 2009 | By: Diane Nickeson-Mendheim, LCSW, Bereavement Manager
The loss of a loved one is a painful experience—it requires one to adjust to everything being different. In the first year following a loss, survivors must face the reality of their loved one's death, adapt to many changes, and learn how to function in jobs, family life, and relationships despite feeling like the rug has been yanked from underneath them.
Yet despite the pain of adapting to these changes, the first year of grief offers many opportunities for growth.
No one wishes for the death of someone we love, but when it happens, we adapt, and in adapting, we learn things about ourselves we may have never known otherwise.
In my employee and volunteer orientation presentation, I tell a story of a husband and wife who, throughout their marriage, adopted traditional gender roles—the husband earned the income, managed the family finances, and fixed things around the house, and the wife cared for the children and managed the household. When the husband died, the wife found herself thrust into the role of the family's asset manager, a role she had not taken on since her marriage. Initially she was scared, stressed, and overwhelmed, but as time went on, she learned. She found help from a professional financial planner, developed her own system of keeping track of assets, and discovered that, despite her former beliefs, she could do math, make good investment decisions, and take care of herself financially. This was a painful process, but she gained strengths and talents she would not have realized if she had not lost her partner.
The first year of grief will require many adaptations—financial, social, emotional, and psychological—but by taking this journey one step at a time, and with the help of friends, family, and social organizations such as Hospice of the Comforter, many grieving people climb their way out of the darkness and find peace, stability, and even joy.
Hospice of the Comforter's Horizons Bereavement Center’s grief support services can help you find your way through your journey of grief. I encourage you to call and find out more about our counseling services and support groups, and to attend our upcoming workshop "The First Year of Grief" on October 26, 2009.
Please visit our blog for articles about different aspects of grief and upcoming events, and check our calendar for a current list of support groups, social groups, and workshops. If you are grieving the loss of a loved one, we wish you peace as you continue on your journey.
Diane Nickeson-Mendheim is a licensed clinical social worker and Hospice of the Comforter’s bereavement manager. She has been with Hospice of the Comforter since 2005, and has also served as a patient care team social worker and bereavement counselor. She is responsible for coordinating the activities of the Horizons Bereavement Center and the Horizons Children’s Loss Program.