We search for just the right thing to say to someone who has lost a loved one, and often fumble over our own words. Here are a few pointers to help you with words that won't be hurtful. For more information on grief support services through our Horizons Bereavement Center, please call (407) 379-0490.

What NOT to say to Kids

What TO say to Kids

He went to sleep.

He died.

She got sick.

She died.  She died because  ______.

Grandpa went on a long trip.

Grandpa died and we won’t be able to see him anymore.

You’re the man of the house now.

You’re going to have to help out more with some of your dad’s chores.

What NOT to say to Everyone

What TO say to Everyone

Think of all your memories.

I know memories aren’t the same as having her here, but I hope they will give you some comfort.

You’ve got to get hold of yourself.

It must be so hard to keep going when you’re hurting so much.

Time will heal.

You must feel as if this pain will never end.

Be strong!

Take all the time you need.

It’s time to put it behind you.

You must miss your loved one and the life you had together.

You must be strong for your children.

Why not share some of your feelings with your children? Perhaps you can support each other now.

Life will go on.

Life has dealt you a terrible blow. I am sure it will be hard for you in the coming months to live with it.

Call me if you need something.

Let’s schedule a time right now that we can see each other. 

You need to ______________.

What would be helpful for you right now?

She is in a better place.

Do you wonder where they are at right now?

You should be over this by now.

I know it will take a while for you to feel better. You do not have to hurry this process for anyone.

Count your blessings.

Remember that grief is necessary and you need time to grieve and heal.

It is a blessing.

I am sorry this ever had to happen and that she/he had to suffer so much.

God never gives us more than we can handle.

This must seem like more hurt than you can bear.

It is God’s will.

Some things that happen are tragic, and make no sense.


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